Friday, November 4, 2011

I'm Thankful for... Day 4



November 4, 2011

Today, I am especially thankful for my Heavenly Father.

Over the last 2 years, I've felt his presence like never before.  In the beginning of my grief, I was very angry at God.  I felt betrayed by him and I was always questioning why he took my son.  I was sick of people telling me that Erik was in a better place - even though I knew he is in Heaven (can't get much better than that right?!) I still felt that the best place for Erik was here with me.  Completely selfish I know!

I haven't quite gotten to the point of acceptance that Erik is gone, but I'm getting there.  I am so thankful that God has never and will never leave my side through this ugly process of grief - or ever for that matter.

I know that he loves me unconditionally and is taking better care of Erik than I could ever imagined.

4 comments:

Ryan*Kendra*Kenz said...

How is it that I am just finding your amazing blog?!
Oh Ashley. What a beautiful incredible little man you have. I am so so sorry for what life is now. I can only imagine the emotions you are going through right now with his angel day coming up. I will be praying for you. I cant wait to read more and learn more about Erik. Thank you for your THANKFUL list. I love that board. I want to make one! You are sooo incredible. Ill be reading like crazy now until I get to the very first post you wrote :)
xoxox
Kendra

brigette said...

Thank you for this thankful post! It really reminds me to be thankful of all that I have rather than just poor pitty me. I am doing this as well on my blog now. Jump over and take a peek. Hugs mama the angel days are tough. Hugs and love always!!

Ashley said...

That so beautiful to read. I think its hard to get the acceptance part :(

Rachel said...

What a brave post! I cannot yet say all those words in honesty for myself, but it is encouraging to read them from you. I love the thankful list idea! You are inspiring to me tonight. love,
Rachel