Wednesday, October 31, 2012
Monday, October 29, 2012
Sunday, October 28, 2012
Day 28 - Memory
How in the world am I suppose to decide on my favorite memory out of the 5 years worth that I have of Erik?!
Probably the Number 1 memory would be the day I met Erik for the first time -
Wednesday, September 1, 2004 at 9:55 p.m.
I fell in love.
July 9, 2005 -
Erik said his first real word...
July 11, 2005 -
Erik took his first steps.
September 1, 2005 -
One year old!!!
September 1, 2006 -
2 years old!!
December 26, 2006 -
Erik was completely potty trained.
September 1, 2007 -
3 years old!!
September 9, 2007 -
Erik is gonna be a BIG brother!!
May 1, 2008 -
Erik meets his sisters!
September 1, 2008 -
4 years old!!!
August 18, 2009 -
First day of Kindergarten!!
September 1, 2009 -
5 years old!!!
October 31, 2009 -
Erik's last Halloween
November 3, 2009 -
Erik had to say goodbye to his Papa
Erik's last night in MY house in HIS bed
November 14, 2009 -
Erik's last sleep
November 15, 2009 -
Happy, smiling, full of life and ready to ride his 4 wheeler for the last time
Saturday, October 27, 2012
Friday, October 26, 2012
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
Tuesday, October 23, 2012
Day 23 - Their Name/Their Photo
Samuel Erik Quarles
Samuel is after his uncle, Kyle's brother.
Erik is after a high school friend who was killed in a tragic car accident in 1997. Ironic, huh?
|His last professional picture.|
Monday, October 22, 2012
Sunday, October 21, 2012
Day 21 - Altar/Shrine/Sacred Place
This is the curio cabinet we bought to put special things of Erik's in. Each of the 5 shelves represents something he either loved or reminds us of him.
The first two shelves are things I've collected that remind me of Erik.
The third shelf are all the Big Green Tractors he had collected in his 5 years. We've added a couple here and there, but most of them he already had.
The fourth shelf are his 4 wheelers and baseball memorabilia - including his glove, batting glove and bat.
The bottom shelf is his collection of Jimmie Johnson stuff. Kyle has added quite a bit in the last 3 years, but just like the tractors, Erik had a good collection going already.
I love being able to see this shelf every single time we walk into the kitchen. It means the world to me and I think I would honestly try to break my back to carry all of this out on my own if our house were to ever catch on fire. Losing this shelf and all of it's contents would probably put me on over the deep end.
Saturday, October 20, 2012
Day 20 - Charity/Organization
Many of you know about Erik's Rodeo. I started it in hopes of helping other bereaved families, but I had no idea how many steps and hoops I had to jump through to get it off the ground.
I'm steadily working my way towards that and I eventually hope to donate memory boxes to our local hospital for use when an older child dies.
Friday, October 19, 2012
Day 19 - Project
I've worked on a lot of things since losing Erik. I created Erik's Rodeo in February of this year with the hopes of helping other bereaved families in our area. But because of all the hoops that I'm having to jump through, this project has been put on the back burner for now.
The biggest project I've taken on since Erik died is completing his scrapbooks. I've always been an avid scrapbooker, but when Erik came along, that hobby got put on the back burner. I completed a couple of pages in his first book and never picked it up again.
Until last year. I've poured lots and lots of time into completely each year of his life. So far, I've got 2004, 2005, 2006, 2008 and 2009 put together. I've got the pictures from 2007 printed, but I've yet to start putting them on paper. A lot of that has to do with the fact that once I'm done, I'm done.
|The orange, baby blue, dark blue and blue gingham hold my memories of Erik|
Thursday, October 18, 2012
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
Tuesday, October 16, 2012
Monday, October 15, 2012
The title says it all.
How has it possibly been 35 months since I touched you?
Looked into your big brown eyes?
Heard you laugh?
Fell in love even more when you smiled?
35 months without you sweet boy and yet it still continues to feel like it was yesterday. My memories of you are becoming clouded and it breaks my heart all over again. I find myself forgetting what you sounded like. I play videos to try and remember, but yet the little boy in those videos is like a stranger to me.
I still look at pictures of you and I'm blown away by the beautiful child staring back at me. I continue to feel like this is some bad nightmare. It's only when someone else mentions your story that it hits me that this is really my life. My child is dead. You are gone.
I wake up every morning and question how I've lived this long without you. There are times that I amaze myself.
This morning on the way to work, I played your song. I cried harder than I've cried in a long time. Most days I can listen to it a million times and be ok. Today was an exception.
I miss you Erik.
I know you know that. You've visited friends and told them how heart broken I am.
I hope you know that even though my memories are clouded that I will never forget you. You are the love of my life and memories like that can't be forgotten.
I love you cowboy - to the moon and back.
Day 15 - Wave of Light
Today marks 35 long heart breaking months without Erik. It is also Pregnancy, Infant and Baby Loss Day. Although Erik was 5 years old, he was and still is my baby boy.
Tonight, I light a candle in his memory and in memory of all of the babies gone too soon.
I love you cowboy, to the moon and back!!