Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Triggers.

Spirit Week

Primary School

Western Day

Cowboy hats

Cowboy boots

Plaid shirts

Trying to tune them out

Walking faster

Quick kisses to 2 unknowing little girls

Fake Smiles

Out of breath

Almost to the car

Door slams

Tears fall

I can't catch my breath

Breathe

Breathe

Gasping for air

More tears

Breathe

Breathe

Mascara smeared

Breathe

Tears

Breathe

There have been a lot of triggers for me during the last almost 3 years.  Today, a simple theme at the girls school sent me into a full blown anxiety attack.  Almost 2 hours later, my heart rate had finally slowed down and I was able to catch my breath.  

Today was awful.
Miserable.
Heart wrenching.

I just want this nightmare to be over.  
I want my son back.
I need him.

My heart needs him.

4 comments:

Simplyheather said...

:( I'm sorry.

Jenn @Treasuring Lifes Blessings said...

(((hugs))) It's so hard when we get smacked out of no where with triggers & reminders. Wish I had words of encouragement but know you aren't alone.

Catherine W said...

Oh I wish, wish, wish that you could have him back.

Those unexpected triggers that come out of nowhere and slam us to the ground.

Your beautiful boy xo

Unknown said...

I'm sorry