Thursday, August 2, 2012

Unhappy birthday to me...

I've started several different posts today and each time I've changed my mind on publishing them.  Maybe one day.

My 32nd birthday is tomorrow.

I'm not feeling it.

I can't get into the birthday spirit considering my sweet boy will never have another earthly birthday.

He should be here giggling with the girls because I'm begging to know what they got me for my birthday.

He should be barricading the door with Sienna trying to keep me from seeing my present.

He should be as excited as Kaitlyn and Sienna are about tomorrow being my birthday.

But he's not.

He's dead.

And that's reason enough for me to never want to have another birthday again.


brigette said...

Im so sorry mama! The pain is so hard. Praying you have a peaceful birthday!! Hugs

Tiffany said...

Im sorry you're feeling this way but I totally understand. I have not wanted my last two birthdays at all. It doesn't seem right that I should get keep getting older while Ellie will always be nine months old... Hugs to you!

Amy (Nevaeh's Mommy) said...

thinking of you on this to the skies

Jenn said...

Huge (((hugs))) I feel the SAME way about my birthday and am glad when the day is over. I wish I could just skip the day but my hubby also has the same bday as me & it's also our anniversary. Despite all that, I haven't done anything for the day the last 2 years and probably won't this year (it's coming up next month). I totally feel for you, it sucks. Praying your day is ok. ((hugs))

Catherine W said...

I'm so sorry. I wish that Erik could be here to celebrate your birthday with you, giggling with your girls and barricading the door. Full of excitement.
It feels wrong somehow, getting older without them. I hope that your have managed to find a little peace today x

Lisa Sissons said...

I'm so sorry for your loss, and I'm so sorry that you have to go through these milestons without your little man.

My son died this year just 5 days before my birthday. I turned 27 and all I could think was this isn't a happy birthday at all.

I hope you had a gentle day, and I hope you managed to enjoy it at least a little bit with your girls.

Lots of love,

Jaclyn Armstrong said...

My heart breaks for you. I wish there was something I could say to make it all better.

Ashley said...

I know :( Every moment in life is bitter because we are missing our sons ((hugs))