One of these days, I WILL catch a break.
Today, my heart is more broken than it was 32 months ago. I miss Erik more than any words could even begin to express. I relate every single aspect of my life to him.
I wonder who he'd be today.
I wonder how he'd get along with his sisters.
I wonder if he'd still be obsessed with bull riding.
And Jason Aldean.
And BIG GREEN TRACTORS.
Every birthday party, get together and family thing we go to, one cousin will ALWAYS be missing. On Friday, I took my two girls, Will, Jake and Alyssa to swim with Chandler and Chase. My van was packed and there wasn't room for anyone else. But all I could think about was how we'd all fit if Erik were still with us.
Yesterday, we went to a birthday party for a little boy from church. He's actually my sister-in-law's nephew, so we really consider them a part of our family. Anyway, all of the kids were playing on the water slide and I instantly thought about how much fun Erik would have on that slide. He was definitely a little water duck!
Kaitlyn seems to love the water as much as Erik did. She asks me all the time if Erik used to do "so and so" in the water. Most of the times my answer is "yes". The boy had no fear once he realized the water was nothing to be scared of.
At that same birthday party, there were a ton of kids there. Right before we were to eat pizza and cake, a few of the adults were sitting around the pool just talking. One of the Mama's noticed a little boy bobbing up and down in the pool. We all froze except for one of the Daddy's. He immediately jumped in and rescued the little boy. The boy swallowed a good bit of water, but after being checked out by another Dad (who happens to be a Fireman), was OK. I couldn't do anything but stand there in shock. Of all weekends for something that scary to happen, it had to be This weekend. I'm just glad the the little fella is ok.
After the party, we came home and I finished up our laundry. I couldn't help but smile at the thought of how much more laundry I'd be doing with Erik still here. The boy changed clothes a million times a day, which I know I've mentioned before. I'd do anything to have three times the clothes to wash if that meant he were here.
I got done with laundry and we took off to the grocery store for milk and things to cook for lunch tomorrow. The girls love asking the cashier for stickers and they'll usually only get one a piece. Today, the girl told me that she doesn't just give one sticker. I kinda of smiled and didn't think anything about it really. Until she handed the girls their stickers. She gave them five stickers each. Five.
|He's never far away...|
We don't have much of anything special planned for today. The usual Sunday stuff really - church, lunch and maybe a nap.
Today is a day when I can honestly say "I'm ready for Monday".
|My girls and my angel...|
Oh, if you're interested, I've started selling stuff for Erik's Rodeo again. You can check out the pictures here. For ordering (or info, comments, anything really) you can email me at eriksrodeo AT yahoo DOT com or simply comment on the picture of what you'd like to order.