I didn't want to get out of the bed, but I knew we needed to go to church, so I basically forced myself out of bed. We went to church and didn't hear much of the sermon because there was no children's church. I had Kaitlyn, Sienna and Alyssa playing musical chairs in my lap. :)
I thought that Kyle would take me out for lunch, but that didn't happen either. We went through the drive thru at Wendy's and then went back home. Chicken nuggets & fries - exactly the meal I wanted for Mother's Day. After we ate, I put my pajamas back on and got comfortable on the couch. Sienna curled up with me and we slept the afternoon away.
I woke up to lots of well wishes for Mother's Day, which did put a smile on my face. I also had a missed call from my Mama, so I called her back and she came over. I never left the couch. Ugh!
I think my facebook status summed up exactly how I was feeling last night:
"Managed to drag myself out of bed this morning and make it to church for Mother's Day. Couldn't get home fast enough to hit the couch and sleep the day away. I know that I have Kaitlyn & Sienna and I am so GRATEFUL for them, but something about celebrating a day - that started with Erik 8 years ago - just doesn't seem right without him here."
I became a mother over 8 years ago when I found out I was pregnant with Erik. He gave me the title of "Mama" and now that he's gone, Mother's Day just doesn't seem right and I have a hard time celebrating. :(
3 comments:
I don't know what to say, Ash! I know you get really tired of hearing "I'm sorry!" :( But you're definitely in my thoughts and prayers!! Love you!!
I thought of you on Sunday and hope that it wasn't too hard on you ((hugs))
I just want you to know that you were not alone in your struggles with Mother's Day. It is very hard to be happy about a day that celebrates being a Mom when one of your precious children are no longer here on this earth with you. I felt the same. I wanted to be happy and grateful for my other sons because I love them so much but I coudn't help but be sad and tearful. As a Mom, I never imagined I would celebrate ANY holidays without all of my children. Life will never be the same again. It is hard now but we make through each day ~ one second at a time. (((HUGS))) and prayers for you!
I left you a message on your friend's blog on your guest post. (Just in case you are wondering who this strange person is leaving you such a message as this.)
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