Thursday, May 3, 2012

Hurting

07.04.08
 My beautiful, beautiful boy <3 . I look at this picture and I'm so captivated by your brown eyes and the way your whole face lights up when you smile. For a brief moment it feels just like yesterday that you were here. Then I blink my eyes and reality smacks me in the face yet again. You really are gone and my heart is shattered to pieces without you.

Your sisters turned 4 on Tuesday and I tried so hard to celebrate them, but I couldn't help but think about how your 4th year was the last full year I had with you. It's hard for me to believe that your 8th birthday is 4 short months away. Plans for celebrating you are in the works and I hope you'll see the impact your sweet life has made.

Erik, I miss you so very much. Everything in my life is so screwed up and I find myself begging for it all to be over. I don't wanna do this anymore. I have no fight left. I am so tired and worn down. And I just want you back!!!

I love you Cowboy - to the moon and back!!!

Photobucket

7 comments:

caseyp said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
April Clamp said...

Heartbreaking :'(

Tracie said...

My heart hurts for you, I can't even imagine the pain. You inspire me though to love my own better and hug them tighter.

Check out my blog I gave you an award!

Tesha said...

Ashley My heart just aches for you. I am so very sorry my friend. I am saying lots of prayers for your weary heart.(((Hugs)))

brigette said...

Im so sorry! My heart aches for you. I hate that you are missing a child. Its so not fair! Please know I think of you and Erik and your sweet family all of the time! Hugs mama!

Tiffany said...

((hugs)) I wish our babies were here...

Ashley said...

I am so sorry that you are hurting, I hate that you feel this way :( He is a beautiful boy and I think about you/him all the time ((hugs))

I really want to order a shirt. Email me your address and I will send you a check,

Thinking of you as always!