Thursday, September 29, 2011

One Question

I had an appointment with my ob/gyn today for an u/s (no, I'm not preggers!).  The u/s tech seen a LOT of me when I was pregnant with Kaitlyn & Sienna, so she remembered me when she called me back.  It probably helped her memory considering she had twin grandbabies a couple of months before my girls were born.  Anyway - she started the u/s and we got to talking about twins.  She said that her granddaughter - who is the big sister to twins, is still having a hard time with her brothers.  She said she's still very jealous and will occasionally be mean to one or both of them.

I felt my heart start racing.  She asked if my girls had their own personality and of course I explained all about both of them.  My palms started getting sweaty.  She pointed out some other things on the u/s and then she asked the dreaded question "how's your son handling his role as the big brother?"

Gulp..... the tears started flowing and had to explain that he had passed away in November of 2009.  I don't know why I couldn't handle that question today, but I couldn't.  I continued to be teary - eyed through the rest of the u/s.  She hugged me as I was leaving and I cried some more.

Ugh! Ugh! Ugh!

Thankfully it took the doctor FOREVER to come in, so I had gotten over being emotionally sad about Erik and was fuming that I had been in the office for over 2 hours and was just seeing the doctor.

Isn't it funny (not really) how one simple little question that should be so very easy to answer can put me straight over the edge..... tis the life of a mother who has lost her child.

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