He came to see me :)

I'm pretty sure I mentioned it in a blog before, but if not, I'll mention it again.  I started seeing THE most wonderful therapist January 6.  I've only had 3 sessions, but I feel so much better already.  I can go from crying to laughing in an instant.  She is awesome.  Anyway.  During my first session, she posed the question of "Has Erik came to you?"  I immediately assumed she was referring to a dream, so I told her "no".  But the more we talked about the subject, the more I realized that Erik had in fact paid lots of visits to me.

I wanted to document them all here so I'll never forget each and everyone of them.

(1) November 20, 2009 - one day after we buried him.  Kyle and I, along with the girls, decided that we needed to get out of town.  We didn't go far and ended up at Target in Simpsonville.  As we were heading home, Kyle stopped at a gas station to get us all a drink.  When we got back on the road, Erik's song (Big Green Tractor) came on the radio.  Kyle and I immediately started crying.  In that instant, the volume on the radio went up.  I looked at Kyle.  He looked at me and asked if I had turned it up.  I told him I hadn't.  He reached over and turned the radio down.  2 seconds later, it was turned up again.  It was then that I knew my boy was ok.

(2) This one didn't happen to me directly, but it happened nonetheless and I want to remember it.  My grandparents (Nanny and Pop) have also lost a child.  Their 15 year old son was killed in a hunting accident over 40 years ago.  My grandmother was telling me that as she lay in bed one night, she felt a warm feeling on her hand.  She opened her eyes and there was Erik standing by her bed smiling.  She said she called out to him and all he said was "Nanny, I'm ok" and then he was gone.

(3) I'm always looking up to the sky for any kind of sign from Erik - from a beautiful sunset or sunrise or a cloud formation.  I've been lucky enough to capture quite a few wonderful sky scenes.

10.28.10

January, 2012 - the clouds make a very faint "E"

01.13.12

(4) Then there's the whole BK Toy and Happy Feet 2.  I get quite giddy when I see the girls' new penguin from Happy Feet whose name is Erik and my heart always skips a beat when the penguin says his name.

This came in the girls' BK happy meal.  I usually always throw the toys away, but something told me to open this one.  I'm so very glad that I did!

Kyle's brother gave the girls a gift card to Toys R Us for Christmas.  

I told them that they could pick whatever they wanted.  

They never hesitated when they spotted "Erik".  

I asked them about 5 times if they were sure this is what they wanted and each time they answered "YES!".  <3

My "Erik" penguin from Build-A-Bear (01.21.12)

(5) I know that I've mentioned the lady that keeps the girls before.  She is wonderful.  I couldn't have found a better fit for Kaitlyn and Sienna (and me) than her.  I work in a small town, a very small town.  There are no actual daycares here, but there are a few women who keep children in their home.  When I started here, I got some names and unfortunately all of them were full.  I was stuck.  My Mom stepped in and kept the girls for me until I found a more permanent place.  About 2 months later, I received a call at work.  The lady on the other end was looking for the "Mother of twins".  That kind of gave it away that she was looking for me.  She said that she had heard through the grapevine that I was looking for a babysitter and she happened to have 2 open spots.  I was elated!!!  We set up a day and time to meet.  The day finally came and I didn't think we were ever going to get to her house, but we did and I was shocked to come up on a farm.  Horses, trailers, barns, land, chickens, goats, dogs and farm were all I could see.  I was tickled to death.  We walked in and I spotted "Ally".  She was so tiny, but was full of life.  She had on jeans, a huge t-shirt, boots and a rodeo belt buckle.  I soon learned that she was 6 and was involved in the rodeo in every way possible.  Anyway - I left there knowing that this lady was who was supposed to be keeping my kids.  I felt in my heart that Erik had found this woman for me and knew that I would love her.  I tell everybody that Ally is the female version of Erik.  She's rough and tough and loves anything cowboy/girl.  I dread the day the girls start school and we have to leave Mrs. Deborah!!

Sienna riding "Little Bill"

Kaitlyn riding "Sweets"

(6) January 17, 2012 - Kyle was going through the bags of stuff that he brought from his Papa's house and came across a bag full of his old uniforms.  Shirts from when he played baseball at 8 years old to his junior high basketball uniform.  We got quite the kick out of looking through everything, but when Kyle pulled that basketball uniform out, I had to see if he could still fit in it.  Sure enough he did, but it was tight.  You could hear the material tearing as he put it on.  (Don't worry, it's all still in one piece!)  I made him pose for a picture because I swore I would put it on FB.  As I was focusing the camera, a bright white circle flashed in front of my camera and somehow, I managed to get that little circle on my camera.  Kyle and I never really believed in ghosts/spirits or stuff like that until we lost Erik.  I fully believe that Erik was with us this night and for once, I was lucky enough to get it in a picture.  This picture was taken with Kyle's phone.  I took one with my phone and 2 with my camera and that white circle isn't there in any of the pics but this one.

The "orb" is directly in front of Kyle's chest and we're thinking that it's approximately the same height that Erik would be now.

(7) Can't forget about this time.... March 22, 2010

UPDATE - 03.19.12


(8) March 2, 2012 - Kyle and I along with the girls were across from our house playing in the field and on the haybales.  I snapped this picture and it wasn't until a friend of mine pointed it out that I noticed that Erik was there with us.

(9) March 16, 2012 - Erik came to visit my bff, Sharon.  She let the dogs out before going to work and there was an "E" as plain as day in the sky.  She cussed because she didn't have her phone outside.  As she was getting into her car to drive to work, the "E" was still there.  She took this pic and like magic, the "E" drifted away and it was gone.  She said it was Erik's way of patiently waiting for someone to get proof he was there.  Once the proof was snapped, he moved along.