It's almost time

Friday, April 1st will mark the 7th birthday of my youngest nephew. The nephew who is EXACTLY 5 months older than Erik. The nephew who I refer to as my other child. The nephew who was my son's best friend. I honestly don't know what's harder - watching him celebrate another birthday or knowing that my son will never have another birthday. I look at Jake and wonder if Erik would be the same size. Maybe he'd be taller. I know he'd be skinnier. He always was. I wonder if he'd still be as crazy about ball or if he'd be like Jake and rather be playing in the dirt somewhere. I wonder if Kaitlyn & Sienna would love Erik the way they love Jake. I smile so big when the girls see Jake. They yell out his name, run up to him and squeeze him so tight. I wonder if they'd do the same to Erik or if they would see him as gross - since he is their brother and all.

Here's a picture of Erik and Jake


A couple of weeks ago, Kyle picked the girls up from school and took them down to the ball field. He had a game that night. As I was getting to the ball field, Jake was getting out of the car with my sister. He walked with me down the hill. Kyle and the girls were coming out of the bathroom and Kyle said Sienna immediately saw me walking with Jake and said "there's Mama and bubba". I guess that the way Jake was wearing his hat made her think he looked like Erik. It broke my heart that she was once again heart broken cause it wasn't Erik walking with me.

Oh how'd I'd give anything to give my baby girl what she wants.

PS - I guess I should add that April 1st also marks one month from my sweet girls turning 3. It just doesn't seem right that they are slowly becoming little girls and aren't my baby's anymore!

Here's my little man helping me with his sisters...