Say Nothing Saturday

07.20.12

10.29.09

Lake Life

Have you guys heard Little Big Town's newest song, Pontoon?  Oh my goodness, it is a really fun song!!!  And since we have a pontoon, we've adapted it as our theme song for the summer!  LOL

You can find the song HERE if you haven't heard it.  I dare you not to smile and have an extra pep in your step!

Anyway, we love being on the lake and try to spend as much time as possible enjoying our boat.

Midweek Randoms

Are you ready for a completely random post about absolutely nothing?!  

Here ya go:

• We head to Charlotte tomorrow for the Jason Aldean/Luke Bryan concert.  I can NOT wait!!!!!

• I'm a little nervous about leaving my girls.  They're staying with my sister, but she's never kept them overnight before, so it should be interesting.  

• Speaking of overnight and children - it wasn't until this morning that I even thought about what to do with our puppy.  Oops.  Unlike Annie, he can't just chill at the house and be ok.  Thankfully my sister in law is going to take care of him for me.

• And speaking of Annie - do any of y'all have any advice on how to control ticks?  Poor pup stays covered and no preventative helps at all.  I could probably pull 15 ticks off of her per day and she'd be covered again.  I hate seeing her so "infested", but ticks creep me out.  I'm thinking that they are in our yard - is there even a remedy for that??

• Did I mention that I get to hear Big Green Tractor LIVE tomorrow?!  I did?  Oh, well, it'll be the 4th time in 2 years.  Excited much?!

• My birthday is a week and half away.  I usually like to get a big group of people together and celebrate, but I'm not feeling it much this year.  Bleh...  Seems a little unfair that I'm turning another year older when my child isn't.

• Kaitlyn & Sienna were accepted into the 4K program!!!  They start school on August 20th.  This makes me want to be a SAHM even more.  I don't like the idea of someone else getting to pick them up and hear all about their day a good 5 hours before I get to ask them. :(  

New Ink

Last Saturday, I finally made an appointment to use a gift certificate that had been given to me from some very sweet people and went and got a new tattoo.

I've had this tattoo in mind for quite some time now and it looks better than I thought it would.  Of course I changed the font to my liking, but I think the finished tat is perfect.

It hurt pretty good and there were several points when I was ready to tell him to ease up, but he would stop before I could tell him too.  I still stand firm in saying that a wet paper towel never felt so good!

8 tattoos already and I still get nervous!

the stencil

All done :)

The next day

My memorial tattoos for my boy (that's his actual handprint and his name is written in his handwriting in 2 of his favorite colors - John Deere green & yellow.  His dates are purple and orange - his other favorite colors).   I've already got plans for 2 more

Day 3 (sorry for the dark picture - the hubby isn't fond of photography)

Sometimes and Always

Linking up with Megan again for Sometimes and Always ~ It seems that my S & A are always dealing with Erik...

Sometimes... I look around and wonder what my life would be like if November 15, 2009 would've been just another ordinary Sunday.

Always...  It breaks me heart to even think about it.

Sometimes... I want to pay one of those people that can do age progression photos just so I could see what Erik would look like

Always... never go through with it because it's pretty expensive.  And because I like seeing Erik's perfectly handsome 5 year old face all the time.

Sometimes... I compare Kaitlyn & Sienna to Erik too much.

Always... I'm brought back to the reality that they aren't him and are never going to be him.

Sometimes... the thought of having another baby crosses my mind.

Always... I remember how much I hated being pregnant and how much I love to sleep.

Sometimes... I debate going back to being a SAHM.

Always... I know that can't happen right now considering Kyle is unemployed. :(

Say Nothing Saturday

07.14.12

Midweek Randoms

* This past week has been depressing.  I'm missing Erik more than usual and knowing that his birthday is on the horizon has me all weepy and distant.  I hate this season.

* Kyle has been working random jobs.  He started out the week on a friends' farm and the rest of this week he's working with his brother.  I'm sure his job situation isn't helping my depression.

* I really should go see my therapist, but honestly, I'm not feeling that either.

* My Mom sent me some really awful texts over the weekend.  I don't know what her deal is with singling me out amongst my brother and sister, but she does.  And of all the times for her to try to make me feel guilty was this past weekend.  You know, the one where the 15th fell on a Sunday.  Great timing Mother.

* I'm looking forward to meeting up with my child-loss friends tomorrow night.  I'm hoping that some new girls will join us, but we'll see.

* A week from tomorrow I will be rocking out to these guys:

And to say I'm excited would be a huge understatement!!!
Who cares that I was just at their concert in January!

* Don't forget that I'm collecting orders for Erik's Rodeo again.  If you're interested, you can check it out here!

* Please keep Jake-man in your prayers.  He had to have a transfusion today because his hemoglobin was too low.  He's also finally to the stage of having to stay away from people as his WBC are also low.  We all expected this, but it still doesn't make it any easier to swallow.  You can check out his CaringBridge page here.

* I hope you guys are having a great week.  I just pray mine gets a little better!

Sometimes and Always

Linking up with Megan again for....



Sometimes... I actually think we'll make it to the end of the month with a little money leftover
Always... We end up broke again :(


Sometimes... I wonder how many people wish I just shut - up already about my dead child
Always... I don't really give a damn who is tired of hearing about Erik.  He WILL be talked about.

Sometimes... I try so hard to do the right things where my family is involved.
Always... I still end up the "black sheep".

Sometimes... The thought of moving out of the 29653 sounds really good!
Always... I stay here because this is where Erik is.

Sometimes... I'd really, really, REALLY like to lay in the bed and not have to get up for anything. 
Always... I roll out of bed, put on my happy face and do what needs to be done.

Blogger 411

Today I'm linking up with Becky at From Mrs. To Mama.  She had the brilliant idea to do a Tell All link up and I loved the idea.  So here ya go!!

1. How long have you been blogging? And what got you started on blogging? Has your blog changed?

I've been blogging since November of 2010.  I got started because I wanted to document my journey through grief and the life after losing my sweet son, Erik.  I don't think my blog has really changed much as far as what I write about.  I have found that I'm writing less about Erik and more about every day happenings.  Although, I do throw in the occasional venting post about how bad grief sucks.

2. Did you go to college? If so where, and what did you study?

I did go to college.  I started out at Coastal Carolina University in the Fall of 1998 and then transferred back to Lander University for a boy!  I still kick myself over that one.  I ended up getting a GREAT job in the fall of 2001 and dropped out because at the time, the check I was cashing every week was much better than spending hours upon hours in class and studying.  I did make a return in August of 2009 and then the worst happened and I lost Erik.  I completed that semester with a 3.47 GPA, but ended up dropping out again in the Spring of 2010 because I was unable to concentrate on anything but Erik being gone.  I don't know that I'll ever go back.

3. Where have you traveled?

LOL not much of anywhere!!!!  The furthest north I've been is to the Outer Banks in North Carolina - which are beautiful btw!  The furthest south I've ever been is Indiantown, FL - betcha never heard of that one have ya?!  I've been up and down the coast of South Carolina and finally made it to Savannah, GA this year.  I made an extremely long drive to Alabama one time to watch a boy play baseball.  Yes, I realize how dumb that was now!

4. If you won the lottery, what would be the first thing you would buy?

Oh my! I've thought about this questions lots of times before and I would definitely buy an ass ton of acres somewhere far away!!!!  I'd plop a big ole' house right in the middle and not tell a soul where I'd moved too!

5. What are your 3 biggest pet peeves?

• Lying
• People who swear they are the greatest thing EV-ER and then get all pissy when someone like me comes along and tells them otherwise.  Hey, the truth hurts!
• People who deserve absolutely nothing and have everything handed to them (and still complain!)

6. What is your favorite movie?

I have several.  Friday is my go-to movie.  I never tire of the one-liners and can quote it from beginning to end.  I really liked The Help too.  I love most of the books - turned movies by Nicholas Sparks as well.

7. What is your drink of choice; wine, beer, or liquor. Or Water, Soda, Tea?

I've gotta have my Dr. Pepper!!!!  And here lately, I've been slightly addicted to lemonade.  I've developed a taste for wine coolers too!  LOL  But if I'm drinking alcohol, the majority of the time, you'll find me with a Bud Light.

8. What is something you enjoy to do when you have me time?

I love to scrapbook!!!!  I started when my niece and nephew were born 11 years ago and it sort of fell by the wayside when Erik was born, but since last year, I've managed to whip out more pages than I have in the last 11 years.  I've completed Erik's book from 2004, 2008 and 2009.  I'm working on the girls' first year, as well as several different miscellaneous albums.

9. If you could have a $10,000 shopping spree to one store, which store would it be?

I'd like to say a store where I shop a lot, but we all know it'd have to be somewhere where I could  buy clothes for the girls too.  There aren't $10K worth of clothes that I'd want at Old Navy or Target though, so I'm pretty stumped on this one.

10. Share with us an embarrassing moment of your past? Or present.

There are plenty, but the one that sticks out the most is probably when I started my period during basketball practice.  Nothing really out of the ordinary, right?  Well, add in an extremely good looking coach and me having to swallow my pride and tell him what happened.  I still can't look at him to this day without thinking about that awful, awful day!!!

11. What day would you love to relive again?

Oh man, there is no way I could pick just one day!!  There are too many days that I'd love to be able to do again with Erik and then of course with my girls too.

12. If your life was turned into a movie... what actor would play you?

???

13. What are the jobs you had in high school/college/the early years?

I was one of the lucky kids in high school and didn't have to work.  I got my first job the summer after I graduated and worked in retail at Goody's.  I was a lifeguard for 3 summers and also worked at Winn Dixie.

14. Show us a picture from high school or college.

I searched and searched and couldn't find an old picture on this computer :( I guess y'all will have to imagine what I looked like 15 years ago.  Imagine me - skinnier, longer hair and really awkward looking! LOL


15. If you could travel anywhere in the world, all expenses paid, where would you go?

Definitely Australia!!!

16. Show us the most current picture of you or you and your family.

Current Family Photo

Whole family photo - June, 2009

17. Where do you see your life 5 years from now?

I honestly hope to be a sahm again.  I'd love to be able to be really involved with my girls and their school.

Happy Birthday Woody.

Today would've been Woody's 9th birthday. :(

I know that he and Erik are having a ball, but I can't help but think of the reunion that we'll all have one of these days.

Happy Birthday Wood-dog!!