This hurts, but yet needs to be celebrated.
I wanted to share something today that I've never shared with many people. I want you guys to be able to see my feelings. I can sit here and talk about how bad I hurt until I'm blue in the face. I can tell you guys how bad it hurts to have one child in the ground, but still have two others at home. No amount of words will EVER be able to convey my true feelings.
You wanna experience my reality for half a second?
This is my reality.
|5 years, 2 months, 17 days.|
I try so hard to celebrate their milestones instead of comparing them to milestones that Erik never reached.
It's hard. It's so hard.
I should be the mother of three LIVING children.
I shouldn't know what it's like to live this life.
I wish that I were still oblivious to child loss and tiny caskets and burial plots and memorials and remembrance ceremonies and songs that remind me of death and the smell of funeral homes and the sirens on rescue vehicles.
But I'm not.
I buried my child and this is my life.